The Hot Chick is even worse than you would expect
I’m not ashamed to admit that I watched the entirety of The Hot Chick on the promise that Rachel Mcadams would be in a tuxedo at some point during the film. Unfortunately, what came before this far-too-short scene (which was totally not worth it by the way) was a shameless indulgence in everything that is wrong with this brand of popular teen film, namely sexism, homophobia, and racism. Whilst this is not entirely surprising – discriminatory jokes are always an easy fall back for badly made and poorly written Hollywood trash – it is the occasional glint of promise, of hope, that makes this film so entirely frustrating.
The main premise of this film is that, because of African voodoo earrings (obviously!), Rachel Mcadams swaps bodies with Rob Schneider. So Rachel Mcadams’ character, essentially Regenia George, wakes up in Rachel Mcadams bed, but in the body of Rob Schneider. The large part of this film is Rob Schneider trying to make the audience believe he is a teenage girl inside, but ends up being stereotypically gay in all of the worst ways. He drinks cosmos, he’s limp wristed, and worst of all, he lisps. Once the rest of the Mean Girls figure out that Rob Schneider is indeed their Queen Bee they rally around him but with no apparent plan to solve his/her predicament. This leads to one of the most cringeworthy scenes in cinema history. Somehow, these underage girls and Rob Schneider are drinking in a bar where Schneider flounces around, being disapproved of by the bartender (who turns out to be a gay rapist), and then giving some stereotypical heterosexual line to not seem gay. This lasts for at least fifteen minutes, and felt like a year. Let’s just remember here people, this film came out in 2002, not 1950.
But even that is not the most irritating part of the film. Neither is the overbearing Asian mother, nor when this mother pretends to be black, nor the mad Wiccan who hexes everybody, and not even the various personality transplants that almost every character undergoes. It’s the possibility of what this film could be. The relationship between the eponymous Hot Chick and her best friend, Anna Faris (as ever, shortened to Anfa), is one that could have been splendid, rich, complex, and could have made the film so much more than a cliched “let’s make poop jokes and rely on lazy stereotypes” quasi-teen film. See once Anfa realises Schneider is her bestie and, like all female best friends, they hang out in their underwear having pillow fights, she starts to fall in love with her. Anfa’s struggle obviously isn’t explored in much depth, but she most definitely has a crisis at the fact that, in this male body, she has realised that it is her best friend who she has always known making her feel this way. When they kiss Schneider describes the experience as “totally lezzing out”, and that is indeed what is happening. Schneider makes it clear that (s)he has no feelings towards Anfa because the character is interested in men regardless of her body. Following this logic, Anfa ‘s attraction to Schneider should really be an attraction to Mcadams.
Of course, this is not the case. Once Rachel Mcadams and Rob Schneider’s characters are returned to their correct bodies Anfa immediately turns her affection to Rob Schneider, despite the object of her affection being Rachel Mcadams (in a tux!). When Schneider’s personality is in Mcadams’ body Anfa expresses disdain and disgust towards him – because he is a disgusting character – and yet it appears to be the body, in the end, that she is in love with. This is entirely incongruous and deeply frustrating for the viewer, whose view of love then becomes nothing more than strictly heteronormative – that love here is not about personality, but whether the person has traditional lady parts or boy parts. At the beginning of the film when Anfa sees that her best friend is now a man she is initially horrified and repulsed by the body that is presented to her: there is no attraction, no love. So why, WHY does Anfa’s affections turn to Schneider’s body and mind once it is back together when previously it was solely towards Mcdams’ mind, regardless of Schneider’s body?
There is no question that this is a bad film. Not one worth writing a review of, even. But its decision to be utter trash despite an opportunity for diversity, if only a teeny bit, makes it an even more dissatisfying experience. But at least we can look at Rachel Mcadams in a suit:
Adorable, no?
H
